I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
