Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Holy shit dude........stairs
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