If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
