it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
