I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
