Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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