My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
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