that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
