it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
