Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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