Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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