The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
