remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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