Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize