I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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