I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
