did you get engaged???
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
