"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
