I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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