I feel great
I just peed on a car
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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