It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
