Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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