You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
