you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
