Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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