No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.