I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.