me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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