I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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