Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
