Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
