My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Randomize
