It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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