So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
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