Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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