I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
