I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Dignity is for republicans.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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