did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
