His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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