these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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