The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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