absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Randomize
