Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
you had me at cake vodka
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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