uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
