she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
