wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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