OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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