I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I have feelings that need drinking.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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