My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize