ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
