have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
