All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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