..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
there's paper in my vomit.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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