i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
