She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
