How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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