it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
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All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
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From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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