UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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