I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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