do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
