he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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