I hate your face
Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
