I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
