Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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